


Wide Awake

by Piano



Category: Free!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 23:53:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piano/pseuds/Piano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru usually sleeps peacefully, but on the rare occasions that he has a nightmare it's a horrible, realistic, vibrant and nearly impossible to wake himself up from night terror. One night he experiences a terror like he never has before, causing him to become uncharacteristically clingy to Makoto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic in a while, but Free and MakoHaru is just so adorable I couldn't help myself. It'll probably end up being 2-3 chapters, depending on how long the next part is.
> 
>  
> 
> Based off of the prompt from ask-ichigo-and-ruki on http://marukaprompts.tumblr.com/.

Haruka wasn’t usually one to have nightmares.

He was completely the polar opposite of scaredy-cat Makoto, who would shudder and squirm uncomfortably whenever Nagisa would suggest a scary movie during a sleepover and still kept a light on in his room past the age that most people would deem it “acceptable”. Not that Haruka really minded. The light was easy to ignore when he slept over, as Makoto was big enough to block out most of its brightness when he was curled up against the shorter teen. He had no reason to mind when Makoto clung to his shirt or arm or even his waist (though sometimes he would end up cutting off his circulation) as a side character was suddenly violently beheaded. In fact, he might have even enjoyed it a little. Maybe that was why he would responded to Nagisa’s horrible movie suggestions with a dry “Sounds fine to me”, much to the chagrin of Makoto and Rei. 

“All right Haru-chan, that’s the spirit! Everyone knows watching horror movies builds character!” Nagisa cheered as went to turn on the DVD player.

Okay, maybe he enjoyed it more than a little.

“How could you sleep so well after that movie last night, Haru?” Makoto asked, as he rolled up the futon Nagisa and Rei had been sleeping on. “I got up about five times thinking I heard something and you were out like a light!” 

Haruka shrugged, not mentioning that he had been woken up last night when Makoto had suddenly clung to him, eyes squeezed shut and a deep frown on his face. Haruka wasn’t really what you would call a “huggy” person, but seeing how much Makoto calmed down after feeling Haruka’s presence let him easily drift back to sleep, encompassed by the taller boy’s warmth. “Well, I guess if there’s two things you do well: it’s swimming and sleeping” Makoto chuckled. “Maybe you should start devoting some of that concentration to school, too?”

Haruka didn’t respond as he glanced away in thought. He would usually have restful nights, this was true. But when he _did_ have nightmares…

Real. That would be the best way to describe them. Horribly, terribly real. Even when he found himself in a situation that he knew, logically, had to be a dream; Like when he went up to the bathroom mirror to see his skin melting off his face, he didn’t just see it. He felt the heat, the pain. Or when he arrived at school only to find that the doors lead to more hallways. Staircases he knew should lead him up to the rooftop to have lunch with his team instead lead him farther down into a basement and the sudden, chilling realization that he was the _only person_ in the school, in the labyrinth of unending hallways and doors and no matter how fast he ran he couldn’t get anywhere, couldn’t escape—

Unlike Makoto, he couldn’t wake himself up. He would try thinking “This is a dream, so wake up already”, but it didn’t work. Nothing he tried worked. It was usually the loud buzzing of his alarm clock or cell phone that would send him tumbling out of the bed, covered in a cold sweat and gasping for air.

_“They might think I really was crazy if they knew that”_ So Haruka never told anyone. He never had his night terrors when sleeping with other people around, so they had no reason to suspect anything.

Of course, his nightmares weren’t just bizarre in a way that, deep down, he knew couldn’t possibly be real. ¬No, the worst nightmares were the ones that seemed grounded in reality.

Two weeks after the regional tournament, Haruka was at swim practice with everyone as usual when Gou suddenly ran up to them, eyes full of tears.

“What’s wrong, Gou?” Rei was the first to ask.

“It’s my brother, he’s—“ She tightened the grip on her cell phone. “He just said that he’s gone back to Australia!” She sniffled a bit. “Why? It’s so sudden—“

Haruka didn’t hear any conversation after that. He just heard the sound of water, crushing waves surrounding him, suffocating him. Dragged down again, into that feeling from ten years ago when he beat Rin, that feeling of when he lost to Rin at the 100m free.

It was a week later. He had recovered his composure. After all, he still had Nagisa, Rei, Makoto…it wasn’t like last time. Maybe Rin had his own reasons for leaving so suddenly, but he would come back. Come back and explain himself, apologize…

Haruka came out of the bath, pajama pants and one of Makoto’s shirt hanging loosely on his frame as he turned on the TV. The first station that came on was the news.

“In a tragic turn of events, one of Samezuka’s most brilliant swimmers. Rin Matsuoka, has suddenly—“

What?

“—while participating in an Australian training camp was pronounced dead this evening after being pulled to shore, despite several attempts to revive hi—“

Haruka could feel his heart pound faster and harder until it felt like it was about to explode out of his chest. The loud pulsing in his ears was the only thing he could hear as he tried to piece his thoughts together.

Rin.

Rin was—

“Rin!!”

Haruka shot out of bed, landing on his feet as he threw his blanket off of himself. He stood there for a few seconds, unable to get his bearings as he gulped air into his lungs.

_"A dream…?! That’s-"_ Haruka sighed and flopped back onto his bed, glancing over at the clock. 7:30 AM flashed back at him, signaling that he had slept through his alarm and that Makoto would be over any second to make sure that he would at least be out of the tub at this time. 

Haruka shakily put his hand up to his forehead, wiping the beads of sweat off. It was a dream, right? It had to be, there was no way that Rin could be…

“Haru?” The sound of Makoto opening the back door to his house and his voice calling to him snapped Haruka back into reality.

Haruka took a few more steadying breaths before he quickly ran into the bathroom to wash his face, attempting to gain as much composure as possible before Makoto peered his smiling face in. “Wow, you’re actually not in the- Did you just wake up?” Makoto frowned puzzledly as Haruka practically threw off his pajamas in order to change into his uniform. 

“Don’t tell me you slept through your al- Haru?” In a flash Haruka had grabbed his bag and coat, avoiding meeting Makoto’s eyes. 

“I’m ready”. There wasn’t really any time to make mackerel this morning, and even if there had been, the pit in his stomach had him too nauseous for his favorite food.

Makoto studied Haruka’s face with a slight frown for a moment before smiling lightly and following him out the door. “Okay, let’s go.” Haruka knew that Makoto could sense something was off, which only made him try to hide it more. It was a mixture of embarrassment and not wanting to worry Makoto that prevented him from saying anything, though he was more than certain that making fun of him would be the last thing Makoto did.

They walked in silence for a few minutes with Makoto peering at the other’s face every so often, in a debate with himself over to ask what was wrong or to just pick a subject of conversation that would probably lighten his friend’s mood. He choose the later. 

“Ah, that’s right, Haru. Samezuka’s captain finally got back to me last night. He said next Monday is good for another joint practice” He smiled, seeing that Haruka was at least looking over at him. “Nagisa said it might be a good idea to go out to dinner after, though I guess we’ll have to check with Gou-chan to make sure that he doesn’t pick someplace that Rin dislikes…” 

There it was: confirmation that it really WAS all just a dream. Haruka relaxed his shoulders with a visible exhale then looked over at Makoto with his lips curled up just slightly, though the smile increased when he saw Makoto’s eyes brighten in response “Yeah”

It wasn’t until a few weeks later that he was visited by another terror, even worse than the previous one. 

The day begun normally. Wake up, put on swimsuit, sit in the bath for no less than 30 minutes, and then (if Makoto happens to be running late) get up and make breakfast. As he sat in the kitchen munching on his grilled mackerel, something seemed off. Makoto still hadn’t shown up. Even if he was late getting up, he would usually text him with something like “Running late had to get the twins ready for school, so please make sure you’re at least out of the tub!” and burst in suddenly with an apologetic smile and a “Sorry, Haru!”

Neither of those things happened. Haruka glanced at the clock, thinking that if he didn’t leave now he really was going to miss his first class. With a sigh he grabbed his school bag and shuffled out the door. Even if he didn’t participate in most of their walking-to-school conversation, walking by himself was still pretty lonely.

Haruka stared at Makoto’s seat. It was empty. He frowned lightly and shifted his glance back to the window as the class was dismissed for lunch. 

_Is he feeling sick? No, usually he texts me even if he is…Maybe he’s feeling too awful to even get to his phone?_

The thought made Haruka grimace and motivated him to retrieve his much-ignored cell phone out of the bottom of his bag and send a text message.

**To: Makoto  
Subject: [None]**

**Are you sick? Don’t just keep it to yourself if you are.**

With a press of the send button Haru headed up the stairs to the roof to meet Nagisa and Rei, idly wondering if they would both be willing to share their bento since he had forgotten to pack his own in the weirdness of the morning.

There was no one.

Haruka looked around the roof for any sign of Rei and Nagisa. He couldn’t hear the familiar sound of Nagisa’s laughter or Rei’s flustered responses to Nagisa’s teasing. 

Were they still in class?

No, not there either. After glancing around the empty first year classroom for a moment, Haru let out a frustrated sigh and headed towards the swim club room. He was feeling irritated at the prospect of the two of them starting a random lunchtime practice without him, but some swimming might be just what he needed.

“Nagisa? Rei?” Haruka looked around the empty cubby area. No sign of Nagisa and Rei’s bags, and Gou wasn’t here either.

Haruka clenched and unclenched his fist a few times, a sense of dread beginning to creep up on him.

_This is stupid,_ he thought, as he quickly turned and walked briskly towards the school gate. _I’m going home._ For reasons he didn’t quite understand, Haru quickened his pace as he began to walk back home, as if something was following him. 

But there was nothing. He walked home by himself.

The next day, Makoto still hadn’t responded and once again didn’t pick Haru up from school.

Now it was getting into the realm of extremely bizarre behavior. Makoto always responded to Haruka’s texts and calls, even if it usually took Haruka at least 12 hours to responded to something from Makoto (though that was usually because he barely ever had his phone with him). And to not meet him for school two days in a row? Something really had to be wrong.

Haru jogged up the stairs towards Makoto’s house, though he wasn’t sure why he felt in such a hurry to get there. _His mom will probably just answer the door and say Makoto’s caught a bad flu…probably got it from Ren, he was sick all last week._

He couldn’t help but smile lightly, remembering how he and Makoto ended up being in charge of entertaining Ran during a sleepover. Ren and Ran fought constantly, but when one twin was sick the other would end up extremely lonely and even more desperate for Makoto and Haruka’s attention.

Haruka ran the doorbell, waiting for a few seconds before glancing in the window. It was all dark inside and he couldn’t see anything or anyone. He rang it again. Then a third time, then a fourth…

Nothing.

With a quick spin on his heel, Haru ran all the way back down the stairs and back to his own home. He had been used to living alone for a while now, but as of this moment he felt as if the silence was closing in on him.

Haruka eventually went to school, though he was late for his second period class. Not that he could bring himself to care.  
Once again, Nagisa and Rei were nowhere to be found and now even Gou seemed to be missing. Haruka went home early again, immediately checking his phone for any messages. There were none.

Another day passed. Then another, and another, and then it had been three weeks. Three weeks since Haru had seen or heard from any of them. He eventually stopped going to school entirely, feeling all motivation to do anything besides wander Iwatobi aimlessly slipping from him.

The silence was deafening, and it felt as if it had closed in so tightly around him that he could barely breathe. 

Was this it? Was this how he was going to be, forever?

Even soaking in the tub had lost its therapeutic effect for Haru. Even as he sat in it, the water splashing around his body couldn’t drown out the sound of his own thoughts. 

_I can’t…_

He sunk his head under, suddenly feeling the floor of the tub disappear from underneath him. He was floating. Floating there, then sinking. Sinking down into the darkness, the silence.

_I can’t take this._

Haruka felt his lungs screaming at him for air, but he didn’t care. He made no effort to swim to the surface, not that he could see it at this point. He could only see pitch blackness around him, felt nothing but cold as he sank further, further…

 

The shrill buzz of his doorbell woke Haru with a mix of a strangled scream and a gasp. His whole body jolted awake so violently that he ended up flipping onto the floor, facedown as he tried desperately to actually breathe and get some semblance of orientation as to where he was. How he managed to push himself into a standing position when his body was shaking as badly as it was he didn’t know. All he knew was that upon managing to reach the door and push it open, he saw Makoto.

Makoto was there, his smile gentle as he went to say “Good morning”, but once he saw Haruka standing there- trembling, cheeks flushed and seeming to have issues breathing, his green eyes immediately flashed with deep concern.

“Haru, what’s wr-“

Makoto’s height and build meant that he wasn’t pushed around very easily, but when Haruka ran at Makoto to hug him, desperately clinging onto the taller boy’s body, Makoto had to take a few steps back to steady himself and prevent the both of them from crashing to the cement.


	2. Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto tries to take care of an extremely sick Haru, all the while feeling as if there's something else besides an illness behind his strange behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so who decided that MakoHaru should be Free's angstiest pairing? Here's some fluff to balance it out!

“H-Haru…?”

Makoto stood frozen for a split second, staring down at Haru, who was clinging to him as if he might suddenly disappear if he let go. He frowned worriedly, wrapping one arm around Haruka’s waist and pulling him a little closer.

_He’s shaking so badly…_ He thought as he raised his free hand to put on the shorter teen’s forehead, eyes widening. “Haru, you’re burning up!” Makoto frowned deeply. “There’s no way you’re going to school today. Come on, you’re going back to bed. Have you even eaten anything? Well I’ll make you some soup…”

After a few seconds of trying to adjust Haruka’s grip so he could at least start walking back inside, Makoto managed to wrap one of the other’s arms around his shoulders while he kept a firm hold on Haru’s waist. 

Makoto helped Haruka back into bed, fluffing his pillow a bit before helping the other lie down and pulling the covers over him.

_There’s no way I’m leaving him alone like this…Well, at least there wasn’t a test or anything today._ Makoto sighed lightly, knowing that even if today had been the most important final of his school career, there would be no way he could have pulled himself away from Haruka’s shivering form.

“There, is that more comfortable, Haru?” Makoto asked gently, brushing some hair out of the other’s eyes, noticing how intensely Haruka seemed to be staring at him. “Go back to sleep, I’ll make some tea. Do you feel nauseous? Well, you’ll at least need to eat something before I can give you any medicine…” He shifted, standing up and started to walk out of Haruka’s room and into the kitchen.

He only got a few steps before he heard the sound of Haruka throwing the covers off of himself and felt warm arms wrap around his waist from behind. “H-“ Makoto turned his head and looked down at Haruka, who had his face buried against the taller boy’s back, still shaking. “Haru…”

“…Don’t…”

He felt Haruka’s grip around him tightening, his words muffled by Makoto’s shirt.

Now Makoto was really beginning to feel concerned. Haruka was usually more affectionate when he was sick, this was true, but that usually only extended to more hand holding or snuggling against him when they were both on the couch. This was more than that, and the desperation that Makoto sensed in Haru’s grip on him was beginning to be an even greater cause for concern.  
“Haru, I-“ Makoto felt at a loss for words as he watched Haru’s breathing, still uneven and shallow. After a moment he managed to pry one of Haru’s arms off of himself, and give that handle a gentle squeeze. “Okay, but promise me you’ll come back in here and lie down if you start to feel dizzy” His expression softened when Haruka looked up at him, eyes still flushed with fever and just looking so…lost.

With Haruka’s hand tightly held in his own Makoto walked out to the kitchen and began the process of making some herbal tea. Haruka must have at least realized Makoto needed two hands to do this, so he let go of Makoto’s hand only so that he could instead hold onto the taller boy’s left arm, resting his head against him.

After the tea was finished, Makoto poured a cup for himself and Haru and sat down at the table with them- Haruka still holding onto his arm. Once they had sat down Haru leaned fully against the taller boy, letting out a nervous exhale. 

Makoto took a sip of his tea, then took the other cup and offered it to Haruka. “Here, Haru. At least drink this.” Haruka glanced up at the cup offered to him, hesitating a moment before taking it and beginning to drink a bit.

“Is it okay?” Makoto asked, looking at Haruka worriedly. Haruka looked up at him, giving a small nod before setting the cup down. Then with a small sigh of… was it relief? 

“…Makoto” Haru’s voice was subdued, almost pleading. The taller boy set down his cup and looked down into the other’s deep-blue eyes. Eyes the obviously wanted to tell him something, but what? 

“Hm?” He tilted his head, reaching his hand down to thread his fingers through Haru’s hair. 

Haru closed his eyes for a moment before shaking his head a bit, glancing to the side. “…Nevermind.’

Makoto kept looking at Haru, feeling the pit in his stomach deepen.

_Don’t leave me_ were what the eyes had told him.

\-----  
Makoto stayed at Haruka’s house the rest of the day, having already texted Nagisa, Rei and Gou that Haru was sick. They all offered him encouragement in trying to get Haruka to NOT go to swim practice today. If it was just a cold, he probably could have let Haruka swim (though he’d probably end up hovering near him during most of practice) but not when he was so obviously feverish and weak.

The longer he was over at Haru’s house, the more Makoto became convinced that something was completely wrong with his childhood friend. Despite Makoto’s pleas of “You need to rest!” and “I’ll be back in less than five minutes…”, Haru refused to let the other out of his sight and even began to get anxious if Makoto was further than a few feet away from him- as if he might suddenly disappear or fall through a hole in the floor if Haru wasn’t able to hold on to him. He had even asked Haruka several times if he wanted to be taken to the hospital, but the idea seemed to make the other feel even worse, so he dropped it after a few attempts.

Makoto had finally decided on a compromise and had set up several blankets and pillows on the couch in the living room so that they could watch movies or Makoto could more easily get to the kitchen without Haru having to travel as far. 

“Haru-“ Makoto began, glancing up at Haruka from his seat in front of the couch. Maybe if he promised to let Haruka stay in the tub and the pool for an extra 30 minutes all next week? 

“You’re really not feeling any better, right?” He had given Haruka some medicine an hour ago, which seemed to have brought his fever down a bit, but he still seemed weak and would begin shaking if standing up for too long. 

“I know it might be kind of disappointing, but you really should just stay home and rest and not go to swim practice today” The last part came out rather quickly, since last time he had forced Haruka to stay home from swim practice (he had caught a flu virus from Ren), he practically had to tie him down to the bed to preventing him from going.

Haru glanced at him for a moment before turning his eyes downward. “Are you going?” he asked softly.

Makoto blinked in surprise. “Eh? There’s no way I’d just leave you when you’re still like this! I already told Gou and everyone else I was here taking care of you, so-“

“Okay”

Makoto stared at him, unsure if he had heard right. No sulking, glaring, or pouting?

Haruka pulled the covers up over himself a little more, frowning. “I don’t feel like swimming today”

The book that Makoto had been holding fell to the ground, and it felt like the bottom of his jaw would soon join it.

Maybe the emergency room wasn’t a bad idea.

\----

“Ah yeah, Mom, Haru seems to be feeling a little better. He’s resting now, at least” 

Night had fallen and Makoto was on the phone with his mother, who had called to check up on the boys. Makoto glanced down at Haru, who had finally fallen into a light sleep after a bit of coaxing and promising that he wouldn’t leave while he was asleep. Still, Haru had kept a tight grip on Makoto’s hand even after dozing off. 

“I probably won’t be home until later tonight though, so don’t stay up for me okay? Yeah, I already had dinner, and made Haru some soup- Yeah, okay. Bye Mom” 

Makoto closed his phone, shifting to set it on the desk next to the bed. The slight movement caused Haru to wake up almost immediately. He sat up in a daze, one hand on his forehead. “Makoto-“ He glanced around for a second as if looking for him before realizing that he was still holding onto the other’s hand.

Makoto squeezed it gently.

“Sorry, did I wake you up? Can you go back to sleep? You should at least lie down”

“No, not really…” But he didn’t lie back down, instead looking to Makoto with a worried expression. “Was that…your mom on the phone?”

Makoto nodded in reply, silently cursing himself for not stepping out of the room to take the call. He had obviously woken Haru up with the sound of his voice. Haru, who looked like he desperately needed to get a good night’s rest. “She was just checking up on us. I told her I wouldn’t be home for a f-“

He stopped midsentence. Haruka’s face had paled at the mention of Makoto leaving, his breathing becoming more rapid. Seeing such terror in those usually calm but clear blue eyes made Makoto’s heart clench desperately, in both fear and concern.

“I mean-!” Makoto quickly placed his hands on Haru’s shoulders, trying to steady him. “I can sleep over too, I’m sure my parents won’t mind. Okay?” This seemed to calm Haruka down, who let out a shuddery breath as he nodded quickly.

Makoto sighed in relief before pulling Haruka in for a gentle, but loving embrace. Haruka responded by wrapping his arms around the other, clenching the fabric of his shirt tightly. 

“Haru.” Makoto tightened his grip slightltly. “Haru, is…something else wrong?”

He felt Haru stiffen against him for a moment before he shook his head, mumbling into his chest. “It’s nothing”

Makoto didn’t ask anything more and they stayed there for a while, quietly holding onto each other until they went to bathe and get ready for bed.

\----

Haruka’s bed was a bit smaller than Makoto’s, and Haru couldn’t help but notice how the taller teen’s feet dangled ever so slightly across the edge. He also couldn’t help but notice how this didn’t bother Makoto, who slipped under the covers next to Haruka with a gentle smile.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to get you anything else?”

Haru shook his head, reaching down to take Makoto’s hand in his own. “No, just….stay”

Makoto nodded, scooting closer to Haru and using his free hand to pet the other’s hair gently. It was comforting and Haruka felt his eyes close despite himself. 

“…Are you sure you’re okay?”

Haruka opened his eyes to stare into the depths of green across from him. Makoto was frowning deeply, worriedly. Haru glanced at the space above his shoulder for a moment, then shook his head and closed his eyes, pressing his head against Makoto’s chest.

He could hear Makoto sigh in resignation before he kissed his forehead. “Okay. Sleep well, Haru.”

Haru nodded in response as he felt Makoto thread their fingers together.

He stayed awake for a while after Makoto dozed off, listening to the gentle sound of his breathing. After a few minutes he closed his eyes, drifting off into a deep sleep as the sound of Makoto’s heartbeat against his ear drowned out the deafening silence of his nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will probably be about two more chapters, depending on how long the next portion is.


	3. Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day begins normally as Haruka's physical symptoms subside, but it becomes apparent that his other symptoms haven't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while! Also thank you for all the comments and kudos ^_^ I'm glad that people seem to be enjoying this fic as much as I enjoy writing it.

The bright sun shining through the window roused Makoto out of his deep sleep and, much to his irritation, about ten minutes before the alarm was supposed to go off. He found it difficult to get back to sleep after feeling the daylight attempting to force his eyes open. So with a soft groan he rubbed his eyes before opening them fully and glancing down at the warm body next to him.  
Haruka was sleeping soundly, still curled up against his chest and still holding Makoto’s hand tightly in his own. Makoto chuckled softly. _I know he’d be embarrassed if I called him “cute”, but…Oh that’s right! I wonder of his fever went down?_

Makoto leaned his free hand to brush the bangs out of Haru’s eyes then press his palm to the other’s forehead. It felt cool, but not cold. Haru’s normal temperature. Makoto smiled in relief. “Thank goodness…”

Haru’s eyes fluttered open, looking straight into Makoto’s.

“Ah! Sorry, Haru…Did I wake you up?” He laughed a little. “There’s still a few minutes before the alarm goes off, so you can go back to sleep for a bit if you want. Are you feeling better?”

Haru sat up, finally letting go of Makoto’s hand, murmuring sleepily. “No, it’s fine...I’m awake” Makoto shifted out of bed, stretching his arms a little as he watched Haruka slip out from under the covers. He was a little stiff from sleeping on a bed that was a bit too small, but he wasn’t one to complain about it.

Mainly because Haruka had already noticed.

“…Sorry. It was easier to sleep over at my house when we were younger, but-“

Makoto shook his head with a bright smile. “Don’t worry, don’t worry! But anyway, you are feeling better right?” He tilted his head a bit. “You look better”.

It was true. The dark ¬circles that had been under Haru’s eyes were gone, and he was able to get out of head without any sign of shakiness. Not only that, but his entire affect seemed to be calmer and he was speaking in his normal monotone.

“Mn. Thanks, Makoto”

“I’m just glad Haru is better.”

_But was he really?_ Makoto couldn’t help but think as he watched Haru go into the bathroom. _He seems to be acting fine, so I guess I don’t need to ask about what it was that made him so strange yesterday. But yesterday he really was acting…_

“Do you need to go home?”

Makoto blinked, snapping out of his thought and looked back at Haru, who had already gotten dressed.

“To get a clean uniform for school”, he elaborated. 

“Huh? Oh, oh yeah!” He had spent most of the day in his uniform since he had been on his way to school yesterday morning. Luckily Haru had space in his drawer for clothes that Makoto had left at his house throughout the years (or that Haru had borrowed and never returned) so he had just used those to sleep in. “I’ll just go back home and change quickly. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Isn’t it easier if we just both go to your house?” Haru still looked deadpan, but was frowning slightly.

“Hm, what about breakfast then?” He tilted his head slightly, then smiled. “Ah, well, just so you know if you eat at my house this morning my mom’s gonna make something besides mackerel, especially since she knows you’ve been sick.”

Haruka sighed “Mackerel is a good recovery food too”

Makoto laughed affectionately as they headed down the stairs to his house. _Well I guess if he’s acting normal today, it doesn’t matter._

\---

Everything seemed normal throughout the beginning of the day, at least. After fussing over Haruka for a few minutes (who kept trying to reassure her that he was fine), Makoto’s mom made sure to pack lunches for both of them and put tons of extra vegetables in Haru’s. After prying Ren and Ran from Haru’s legs, they both walked to school in their normal amiable fashion.

Except that Makoto couldn’t help but notice that Haruka was glancing at him every minute or so. After a few minutes of this, Makoto finally glanced down at him.

“Is something wrong, Haru?”

Haruka opened his mouth to say something, then shook his head and turned his eyes towards the ocean. “No.”

Makoto let out a soft hum of recognition, but continued to watch Haruka as they continued on to school. 

He noticed the same thing happen during class as well. Haruka would usually keep his glance firmly set on the ocean. Today, however, whenever Makoto would look up from his notes he would catch Haru staring at him out of the corner of his eye. _Almost as if he’s making sure I’m still sitting here._ Makoto thought worriedly. He did think it was best not to bring it up to Haruka at the moment, though, since he was sure that he would just deny it or shrug it off.

Lunch went by relatively normally, though when they sat down it seemed as if Haru wanted to make sure that he was touching Makoto at all times, although he wasn’t as obvious about it as yesterday. Every so often Haru’s knee or hand would brush past Makoto’s, causing Makoto to glance up at his friend- but Haru would be looking elsewhere every time. It was so subtle that Rei didn’t notice and, if Nagisa did, he didn’t make it known.

Maybe once Haru got in the water during practice today, everything would be fine. _Haru didn’t get to soak in the tub today so maybe that’s made some of the illness carry over?_ Makoto thought to himself, but he knew that couldn’t be it before he even finished his thought.

\----  
“This is bad.”

“Should we say something?”

“Well, well, maybe we’re overreacting?”

“Don’t say something like that, Gou, this is definitely an emergency!”

Nagisa, Rei and Gou were huddled together on one side of the pool in a sort of “emergency meeting” of the underclassmen. Makoto was a few minutes late to practice due to having to meet with a teacher and Haru…well, he was the subject of their hurried whispers.

Haruka was sitting on the edge of the pool, barely dipping his toes in the water. Every so often he would glance towards the stairs, as if waiting for something. 

Haruka wasn’t swimming.

“Haru-chan always always gets in the pool first!”

“I know, I know…!”

“Maybe Haruka-senpai is still feeling sick from yesterday”

“No way, no way, that’s impossible. I think he’s possessed!”

“How is that a more plausible idea, Nagisa-kun?!”

“We could just ASK him you know” Even as Gou said this, she looked unsure. They were all so used to Haruka’s “normal” weirdness of stripping whenever he saw a body of water he could submerge himself in and trying to swim even if it was 20 degrees too cold that seeing him sit next to a pool without getting in it was sending the rest of them into a panic.

Eventually they walked over to Haru, peering down at him hesitantly.

“Are you…feeling all right Haruka-senpai?” Rei asked, pushing his glasses up slightly.

Haru glanced up at them. “I’m fine. Why?”

“Ah, well, Haru-chan- You’re not swimming! Practice has started you know!” Nagisa interjected.

“I know.” Haru looked out over the water.

They all looked at each other worriedly, unsure of what to say. Luckily, Makoto showed up within a few seconds and there was a visible sign of relief. If anything, Makoto would know how to handle Haru.

“Sorry I’m late!” Makoto paused, blinking confusedly at everyone. “What’s everyone doing?”

“Um, well, Haru-chan-“ There was a sudden splash as Haruka slipped into the water and began to warm up.

Makoto tilted his head, looking a bit confused as the underclassmen looked at each other, shocked, but smiled anyway. “Well, let’s start then.”

Halfway through practice Gou called out from the lockers. “Makoto-senpai, your phone’s ringing!”

“Huh? Oh, okay, I’m coming!” Makoto, who had been practicing his relay start, climbed out of the pool and began walking over to Gou. 

Makoto took the phone from Gou and answered it, though he paused when he saw her staring at something over his shoulder. Glancing back, he nearly accidentally hung up on his mom in surprise.

“…Haru?”

Haruka had gotten out seconds after Makoto and was now standing a few inches away from him, panting slightly. Both Rei and Nagisa had stopped their swimming mid-stroke and were just staring out at Haru from the water. No one could think of anything to say.  
\---  
They had walked home together in silence, without Makoto even trying to attempt idle conversation to fill it. Both knew that there were things that weight heavily on the other’s mind, but neither of them wanted to speak first. They did have a sort of unspoken conversation that led to them both heading towards Haruka’s house, though.

In the end, it was Makoto, who waited until they got inside.

“Haru.”

Makoto said Haruka’s name in such a serious tone that the shorter teen immediately stopped daydreaming and looked over at Makoto, who had stopped walking. He stopped as well, waiting for Makoto to continue, frowning slightly.

“Haru, Nagisa told me that you didn’t get into the pool at all before I got there.”

Haru immediately turned his glance to the side, not out of annoyance, but avoidance.

Makoto continued anyway, frowning deeply. “And then you got out of the water when I went to answer my phone” He paused for a moment. “You’d been acting off all day too, and even yesterday- Well I was thinking it was because you were sick, but today’s almost been like a continuation of that.”

Makoto waited for Haruka to respond but he seemed very intent on keeping his focus on a crack in the wall. It was embarrassing enough that he, at 17, still had such vivid and ridiculous nightmares but the fact that Makoto obviously knew he’d been acting so clingy and jumpy for the past 48 hours made it even worse. It would be mortifying now, to tell Makoto. 

After about a minute of silence, Makoto let out a frustrated sigh, obviously at a loss. “If I’m staying over again, I’m going to go back to my house to get a change of clothes.” He turned and began walking towards the door. “I’ll come over later, okay?”

Haru’s eyes widened when he saw Makoto begin to grow farther away from him and he gripped the front of his own shirt instinctively. It was getting hard to breathe, just like in the dream, the sense of drowning, the crushing silence, he wasn’t going to come back, he’d be--

“M-Makoto!”

There was a sudden crash as Haruka ran over to grab Makoto’s arm, pulling with such force that Makoto was unable to keep his balance. The two teenagers slammed to the ground, with Haruka sprawled on top of Makoto’s chest, clinging onto the fabric of his jacket.

“…”  
Haruka tried desperately to control his breathing, his cheeks hot with embarrassment as he shakily started to force himself off of the other. “I-…S-Sorry…” he mumbled, but then gasped in surprise as Makoto’s strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him back down into a tight hug.

“…Makoto…?”

“Tell me…” Makoto’s voice was gentle, but filled with an insistent worried tone as he threaded one of his hands through Haru’s dark hair. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on, Haru. So please…”

Haru could feel a painful twist in his stomach at the sound of Makoto’s voice waver slightly on that “Please”. _Makoto…_ He sighed softly, leaning up a bit to wrap his arms around the other’s neck and rest his face against his shoulder. He couldn’t bear to look up in Makoto’s eyes and see his expression as he nodded softly, speaking in a quiet muffled voice. “…Okay.”


	4. Sweet Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto's solution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, this fic is done! There are still plenty of makoharu prompts that I want to fill out though, so look forward to some more Free! goodness :)

It was a few more seconds before Makoto finally let go of Haru, though he slid one hand into the other’s, letting their fingers intertwine as they stood up. He noted how it felt as if his friend’s hand was trembling slightly, and the thought made the pit in his stomach deepen. 

But at least Haru had finally agreed to tell him what was wrong. Once he knew what was wrong, he could fix it.

They both sat on Haru’s couch, which was quite a bit more comfortable than the floor. Makoto sat next to the other, keeping ahold of his hand as Haruka took a few calming breaths. It seemed like he was having trouble putting his emotions into words. This wasn’t unusual for Haru, but it was unusual for him to look so distressed over telling something to Makoto when they were by themselves like this.

_He looks so pale…_ Makoto frowned slightly at this observation, then squeezed Haru’s hand in encouragement. The shorter teen glanced over to Makoto for a moment, then down towards the floor as he squeezed back.

Makoto couldn’t help but think of that time, the funeral, holding hands, squeezing Haruka’s hand in fear…This time was different, though. The roles were reversed.

At last, Haruka finally began to describe what he had been going through. Makoto listened to him intently, eyes widening in shock and guilt. 

_Haru’s been having these nightmares all this time? How could I not have known?_

Haruka glanced up, eyes widening slightly at the sight of the guilt and deep concern reflected in gentle green.

“I…didn’t tell you on purpose” he muttered, responding to Makoto’s thoughts. “It never happened when they I slept over or anything. Plus it never felt like they lasted as long as…the one two nights ago. It felt like it had been weeks without…” 

Haru trailed off, glancing to the side again. A heavy silence weighted the air and for a split second Haru became worried that Makoto would tell him he had been making a big deal out of nothing, or that he had caused everyone to worry for no reason, or-

He didn’t obviously. Instead, he found himself enveloped in Makoto’s warmth as he was pulled into a tight hug. Haruka blinked in surprise but then reciprocated by holding onto Makoto’s waist.

“Haru…I’m sorry…”

He sighed lightly, though not in annoyance. “I already told you it’s not your fault.”  
“I know, but…there’ve been so many times when you’ve been there for me when I was scared, or woken me up when I had a nightmare-“ He was interrupted by an intense icy-blue glance that said very clearly _Don’t blame yourself._

Makoto sighed lightly, holding Haru closer. In response, he leaned more against Makoto, head resting on the other’s shoulder.

“You know that wouldn’t happen, right?” Makoto pulled back a little so that he could smile gently, making sure he had caught Haru’s glance. “None of us would leave you like that.” He paused for a moment, then added for emphasis. “There’s no way I could leave Haru.” 

He let out a light chuckle as a hint of pink flushed Haru’s cheeks, causing the dark-haired teenager to sigh.

“I know. But even now, with you here—“ He reached up to grip the back of Makoto’s shirt lightly. “It still feels like…” Haruka let out a slight “tch” of frustration as he had trouble finding the right words to make his feelings known. Makoto, however, understood. 

Just as usual.

“Hm, then…” he tilted his head in thought, then smiled to himself when the idea finally came to him. Of course, the solution was obvious.

He suddenly began to stand up, drawing a confused look from Haru until he offered his hand. 

“Let’s go to my house, okay? I know what we can do.”

With Haru’s hand held tightly in his own, Makoto walked out of the door and down the familiar path back to his house. Haru blinked, a mixture of confused and worried, since Makoto wasn’t offering any sort of explanation. 

He silently followed along, however, comforted by the firm grip that Makoto had on his hand.  
After entering into Makoto’s unusually quiet household (his parents were out and the twins were on a field trip with the rest of their elementary class) Makoto glanced around, searching.

“Now where- Ah, that’s right.” He let go of Haru’s hand after a second, causing the other to frown slightly in response but then his expression changed to one of bewilderment as Makoto stuck his hand in one decorative vases in the living room.

“Makoto, what-“ Haru paused as Makoto turned around, taking his hand and placing a small key in it. 

“Mom had that made in case we ever needed someone else besides me or you to babysit but never really ended up using it.” Makoto smiled, the gentle, caring one that he was known for. “I think Ren and Ran might start getting upset if I just stay at your house all the time, so why don’t you just stay over here until that feeling goes away? My bed is a bit bigger than yours, anyway~ Then-“ he took Haru’s hand in his own again, the one that wasn’t holding onto the key. “If you ever have one of those dreams again, you can just come over and let yourself in with that, okay? Or anytime you want, obviously.” 

He chuckled softly as Haru stared at him, wide-eyed. “I don’t think my parents would mind if you keep that spare key, Haru. I—“ Makoto was cut off as Haru suddenly hugged him, wrapping his arms around his neck and holding him close. 

“…Makoto…”

Makoto’s smile grew wider. Haru wasn’t trembling or clinging, this time, not holding him as if he would suddenly disappear if he let go.

“….Thank you.”

Makoto responded by resting his forehead on Haru’s. “Now let’s go back and get some clothes from your house, okay? And maybe some mackerel too.”

Haruka ended up staying at the Tachibana household for a week. At first Makoto’s parents were surprised, since it was the longest Haru had ever stayed, but quickly grew used to it. Makoto hadn’t explained why, but he didn’t really need to. They did suspect that it had to do with the same reason that their son had given away the spare key to his best friend, though. Haru was basically part of the family anyway, and the twins were absolutely beside themselves with joy at having both Makoto and their beloved Haru-chan to play with for so long. 

They didn’t tell Nagisa or Rei about the arrangement, though Nagisa did point out that Makoto and Haru had matching bento boxes every day of that week. Haruka simply shrugged it off and Makoto had chuckled. Neither of them answered as to why. Makoto understood that, although Nagisa and Rei were their dear friends, if Haru ever wanted them to know about what happened, he would tell them himself.

Makoto couldn’t help but feel a slight loneliness the first night that Haruka had slept back at his own house, though he was glad that his friend had gone back to feeling himself again. However, it had been nice, having Haru’s presence there next to him every night.

_I wonder if he’ll end up using that key?_

He didn’t have to wonder much longer. Around 12:30 am Makoto was woken to the sound of his door quietly creaking open, a padding of footsteps and the shift of his mattress and blankets as Haru slipped in next to him.

“Hn- Haruka?” Makoto opened his eyes, rubbing them a bit as he looked over at the bright blue eyes shining at him in the darkness. “Did you have another dream?”

Haru didn’t reply at first, glancing down to Makoto’s hand before slipping his own down and lacing their fingers. “…No”. Makoto stared at him in surprise before laughing affectionately and closing his eyes again.

“Good night, Haru.”

“Good night.”


End file.
